By Isaac

The long running television show, the Simpsons, has become an icon of American folklore and pop culture.
A spinoff of the Tracey Ullman Show, the Simpson family's first episode aired in late 1989 and is still going strong, approaching its 400th episode. It was not long before the Simpsons replaced the Bundys as America's favorite dysfunctional family.

The iconoclastic show has become noted for, among other things, the participation of big name guest stars who often appear as themselves. One little noted grisly fact about this wildly popular television program,  however, is that its guest stars have developed a nasty habit of waking up dead after they appear.

Below is a list of celebrities who had the misfortune of running afoul of the Simpson gang.

The list is incomplete, however; celebrities are continuing to meet their maker on a regular basis, while the Simpsons have managed to rack up a body count that would be the envy of the Soprano crime family. And yet the dark side of the Simpson family, friends, and associates remains mostly unexamined.

Until now.

There are many websites featuring the deaths that have supposedly followed in the wake of Bill Clinton, such as this one:  Why is there no similar site that exposes the deeds of the Simpson family?

How many deaths will it take for the notorious Simpson clan to be brought to justice? How long will the Simpsons' bloody rampage be allowed to run unchecked? What deadly secrets lurk behind the laughter?

What lesson are we teaching our children while this lawless bunch remains free?

                                                                                               THE SIMPSONS BODY COUNT

Phil Hartmann Died 5/28/1998
The multi-talented Hartmann had become a fixture on the Simpsons, playing semi-regulars washed up movie star Troy McClure and the incompetent and corrupt attorney Lionel Hutz. Hartmann also provided the voice for Springfield founder Jebediah Springfield. Apparently murdered by his girlfriend on May 28, 1998. What grisly secret about the Simpsons did Hartmann carry to his grave? Did he know too much?
Doris Grau  Died 12/30/1995
Grau stands out on this list as the only owner of a voice on the Simspons (she played semi-regular character Lunchlady Doris and county singer Lurleen Lumpkin in one episode) who was also on the Simpsons staff of voice performers. Passed away before she could write a tell-all book about the "all-American family." Coincidence? I think not.
Audrey Meadows
Played Grampa Simpson's girlfriend Bea Simmons, who passed away in the episode where she guested. Life imitated art on February 3,1996. What did she know about Grampa that he didn't want revealed?
Steve Allen  Died 10/30/2000   
The versatile performer appeared as Bart's electronically altered voice in one episode. What were the voices in Bart's head whispering to him about Steve Allen?
Bob Hope
Bob Hope passed away on July 27, 2003, after having been a guest on the Simpsons. His death came several years after his guest appearance, allowing the Simpsons to cleverly arrange for the 100 year old comedian's death to appear to be due to old age. Bart Simpson has been known to warn people in public that they "better stay away from" his Butterfinger. Did Hope come between Bart Simpson and his candy bar?
Barry White  Died 7/7/2003
White guest starred twice, playing himself both times. In his first appearance, he helped ruin Springfield's celebration of  "Whacking Day" (a holiday where town residents bludgeoned snakes to death with clubs.)  Did the fiendish Simpsons have White himself "whacked?"
Johnny Carson  Died 1/23/2005
Carson helped Krusty the Clown resuscitate his dying career. Krusty's career lives on, but Carson does not.
George Harrison 
Homer publicly showed his disdain for the former Beatle during a reception for Homer's barbershop quartet, the B Sharps. Before his death, Harrison was wounded in his home by a knife-wielding assailant. Homer Simpson has never been able to adequately account for his whereabouts on the date of the stabbing, or on November 29,2001, the date of Harrison's eventual death.
The Ramones

The Ramones heckled Montgomery Burns at his own birthday party. Three down, one to go.
Werner Klemperer (Colonel Klink) Died 12/6/2000
The Hogan's Heroes co-star played Homer's guardian angel. Klemperer is now an angel for real after his run in with the Simpsons.
Tito Puente  Died 6/1/2000 
Briefly a suspect after Maggie Simpson shot Mr. Burns in a two part episode. Was Puente Maggie's real target all along?
Linda McCartney Died 4/17/1998
Linda McCartney encouraged Lisa to shun meat and be a vegetarian. McCartney passed away soon after her appearance on the Simpsons.

Jonathan Melvoin Died 7/12/1996
The Smashing Pumpkins' keyboard player's demise came soon after Homer's stint as The Human Cannonball, where he traveled with the Pumpkins on the Hullabalooza tour. What secret of Homer's did Melvoin learn during their time together on the road?
Paul Winfield (Lucious Sweet) Died 3/7/2004
Winfield played Lucious Sweet, manager of Mike Tyson parody, Dredrick Tatum. Sweet pressured Moe into having Homer Simpson box Tatum, who proceeded to whale the tar out of Simpson. Payback?
Johnny Cash (Coyote) Died 9/12/2003
In one episode Cash played Homer's spirit guide. Did Homer arrange for Cash's only future appearances to be down, down, down, in a burning ring of fire?
Jack Lemmon Died  6/7/2001
The award winning actor sold Marge a pretzel franchise in the episode in which he guest starred.  The pretzel business caused Marge more problems than it solved. The newspapers reported Lemmon's death, while keeping quiet his relationship with Marge. Hmmmmm....
Stephen Jay Gould   Died 5/20/2002
A noted biological scientist, Gould played himself in a Simpsons episode where he examined a fossilized "angel"  Lisa had unearthed.  After appearing in the episode, Gould now lives with the angels. Coincidence? I rest my case.
Jim Varney Died 2/10/2000 
Varney, who had played Ernest P. Worrells in a series of self-titled movies, played a carnival worker who became one of the only people Homer Simpson ever outsmarted. Was Homer content to leave it at that, or did he have a more final humiliation in mind? Know whut ah mean, Vern?
John Entwhistle (of The Who) Died  6/27/2002 
During questioning about the legendary bass player's death in a hotel room while on tour, Homer Simpson showed no interest in anything other than a foot long Hoagie sandwich. His only comment was "Can't talk...eating..."

Joe C.  Died 11/16/2000 
The diminutive sidekick of Kid Rock performed at a party the entire Simpson family attended during Spring Break. The Simpsons have been entirely silent on the subject.
Rodney Dangerfield    
Dangerfield played Monty Burns' ill-begotten son. He died on October 3, 2004 without getting no respects, last or
otherwise, from the Simpsons cast.

Isabel Sanford Died
Shortly after appearing as herself on the Simpsons, Jeffersons co-star Sanford (Louise "Weezy" Jefferson), permanently
moved on up to that Dee-lux Apartment in the Sky. Did Sanford finally get a piece of Homer's pie?

I report. I decide.